Can You Love, or Be In Love With Two People at The Same Time?

www.tauheedahmichelle.michelebarard.com

 

The question has come across my table; "Can someone love or be in love with two people at the same time?" If you've been reading my books, following my blog and my Sunday Lives then you know I write and speak from my own personal experiences. My answer to this question is, YES. Let me be clear, this is not a ploy to condone cheating. Sometimes the right people come into your life at the wrong time, and you're meant to be together just not at that time. Sometimes there are unresolved issues in either you or the other person that need to be dealt with before you can be together.

Two and a half years ago I met a man in a business transaction. I bought a car and needed a repair to the aux cord on my radio. The owner of the dealership recommended a guy he uses for his car radios. I met the guy at his business establishment and there was an instant connection and definite chemistry between the two of us. We began talking on the phone and texting one another. We went on one date after about a month or two of talking and texting. We would meet up somewhere sometimes and just talk. We had really become good friends. He was in a relationship, and he and his girlfriend lived together. At the time my ex-boyfriend was living with me, but our relationship was over. This guy and I were friends, although we both recognized the connection and strong chemistry between us.

Later that same year I began conversing through Facebook Messenger with a Facebook and Instagram friend who was also the younger brother of one of my old friends and classmates. Before I actually encountered this man I had been reading and learning about twin flames, and the difference between twin flames and soulmates. I didn't fully understand twin flames at the time, but I was learning more and more each day. I started researching twin flames, and twin flame unions. The twin flame union is the highest and ultimate relationship that humans can experience. Just talking to this man I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he was my twin flame. When we first met in person, hugging him confirmed things for me. Hugging him gave me the sense of home, like I was where I belonged. Experiencing this type of love and relationship helped me to understand twin flame dynamics that much more. I am in love with this man!

There have been many obstacles in the way of this twin flame relationship; some caused by me and some caused by him. A relationship is controlled by both people, so we both had a hand in the demise of the relationship. At the end of 2018 my twin flame broke up with me, deleted me and blocked me on social media, and blocked my phone calls. A breakup is almost always difficult, but this breakup was puzzling to me because he broke up with me for trying to talk to him about something very important that concerned us both. My friend and I were still friends, and had remained "Just Friends" over the two year period. I messaged my twin flame on YouTube and email because I was blocked on every other platform of communication. I had surgery in February and reached out to my twin flame, and he never responded until a month later on his birthday. The conversation was quick and casual. A few weeks later there was death in my twin flame's family, and we were both close to this person so he called to let me know. I went to visit him and the family and my love for him was still very prevalent. As my twin flame I know my love for him will never end.

During my recovery from surgery my friend visited me, and we talked almost every day. We started dating and we would see one another quite often. Our feelings for one another became stronger, and we became more than just friends. We eventually became physically intimate and that strengthened our friendship/relationship. Now we're at the point where we verbally and physically express our love for each other. Even though I love this man, I am still in love with my twin flame. There is nothing in this world that compares to the touch of my twin flame. A simple casual touch from his hands sends a sensation through my body like he's making love to my body.

I am in love with my twin flame; there is no doubt about that but I also love my friend. My friend and I have been attracted to one another since the moment we met over 2 years ago, but the timing wasn't right. After my twin flame broke up with me my friend was there for me. Although I love my friend, I am in love with my twin flame and I have never experienced anything close to a relationship like ours. Sex with my twin flame is something out of this world. As I've said before, your twin is a mirror to your soul. Your twin shows you the things in you that need healing, and you heal to help them heal. Twin flames are very strong and can manifest things together when both flames are on the same page. I have seen in my own spirit the things that my twin flame and I could manifest and have, but it would take us both meditating and coming together. We will always be one. We were one soul before we ever came together physically. The physical intimacy (Into Me See) made our bond stronger. I am him, and he is me, we are one soul. We can be with other people but that won't change the fact that we are twin flames. Nothing can break the bond between us. The Universe brought us together; it is up to us to put in the work.

As for my friend, we are becoming closer. We are mentally and physically compatible. Leos and Libras are highly compatible. We both own businesses, we're both conscious, and family is important to both of us. We're both creative with our hands and we enjoy the arts. On the other hand my twin and I experience mental telepathy; and we have experienced a transference of energy. My twin and I have experienced some things that can't be explained for carnal minds to understand. Right now I'm torn between my twin flame and my friend who is fastly becoming my man. I don't agree with the, "Love Is Love" campaign that's going around because it taints love and says that adults loving and having sex with kids is okay. The campaign also promotes homosexuality and beastiality. I do however subscribe to the fact that if my twin and I hadn't broken up I never would've fully developed an intimate relationship with my friend. My friend is a soulmate and we share many of the same ideals and ideas. We're both go-getters and ambitious people. We talk to each other about any and everything. I can easily and safely express myself to him. My twin tests me every step of the way, and that is one of the key dynamics of a twin flame union. Your twin makes you better, and shows you the real you. Looking at your twin is like looking in a mirror, they are a reflection of you as they reflect back to you who you truly are and they help you to become who you will ultimately be.

It's difficult being torn between the man you're in love with and wanted to spend the rest of your life and lifetime with, and the man you love as a friend and more. I don't wish this merry-go-round on anybody. The truth is, maybe we don't choose who loves us and how people come into our lives, but we do get to choose who we love. Somewhere the ultimate choice must be made. On one hand I have a man that I love and I'm in love with; heaven and earth have been moved when we're together.On the other hand, I love a man that is my friend and I am highly compatible with. In an ideal world I would choose my twin flame, but my twin must choose me back (whether in this life or the next). Twin flame unions can be painful and there is a lot of soul work involved. Both twins must be up for the challenge for the union to be successful. The twin flame union is what each person should aspire to; in this relationship the Universe is granting you your innermost desires.

As Musiq Soulchild said in his song, "The answer is Yes". It is possible to love two people at the same time. I've heard it said before that you can't love two people at once because that means you never actually loved the first person. That statement is not true; I am madly in love with my twin flame, but twin flame relationships can be difficult and if both aren't ready to do the work or if they aren't both ready to confront themselves the union will suffer. I love this man with everything inside me, and I still love my friend too.

Freak Like Me/T-shirt and Panties

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Last night I watched the episode of "Unsung" featuring Adina Howard. I have been following Adina on Instagram well before the show. I was a fan of Adina's song, "Freak Like Me" back in the 90's. I don't think many of us were ready for such an outspoken upfront woman at the time.

I have come to admire Adina for her outspokenness. She has been saying what women have been feeling for years. She's not just outspoken or upfront, but she lives her truth. Whether you or I agree with it, she lives her truth and stands for what she wants. In my 20's I was just going through life and love blindfolded. I didn't know which direction to go, so I fumbled my way through my 20's and 30's. In my early 40's I divorced the only man I had ever been in love with. I was in love with this man for 30 years, since we were both 14 years old. After the divorce I set out on a journey to find me. I found that I was highly sexual, but I had finally gotten to a place where I really enjoyed sex, and I wanted the things that were pleasurable to me.

Last night on Unsung Adina explained how her sexuality was on her terms. Men thought because she was a freak that she would just get freaky with any and everybody. She stated that she was the prize, not the other way around. In my late 40's I met my twin flame, and with him I learned to let go of all of my insecurities and inhibitions. I felt like I could let go and be myself. That seemed to only work with sex. When I wanted to let go and be my unique goddess self, displaying all that makes me who I am; he couldn't handle that. I don't pretend to be something I'm not. I am who I am.

I love sex, especially when it's combined with sensuality. I want to enjoy the experience and the man I'm with. Like Adina, I can be outspoken and speak what's on my heart. Some males are intimidated by outspokenness and realness. I thought I had finally found the man I could open up to and be myself with. I want what I want, but I am willing to compromise. Isn't that what relationships are all about? I was tired of always being the one to compromise and sacrifice,without getting the same in return.

Adina was very candid and transparent about her life. She said that she's defiant, and she likes being defiant. She also recognized the part she played in the downfall of her singing career. She admitted her faults, and although she never compromised her integrity she knew where she was wrong. She has grown and evolved and still gets what she wants. I have learned so much about myself and what I want. I want a man who can bring out every part of the freak in me. A man who will put in as much effort as I do. I want my man to cater to my body as I cater to his. Sometimes I want to be in charge of the bedroom.

I was so impressed by Adina's growth. When she was singing, "Freak Like Me" and"T-shirt and Panties" she was younger and wilder. She has since married her best friend. They divorced but still live together. She still lives her truth. She stated that she got married for sex. She wanted to try everything sexual with her husband. That's how it should be, you marry your best friend, twin flame, soulmate all in one and you both ascend to the highest heights.

Learning, growing, evolving, ascending are all apart of maturing and transforming into the person you're meant to be. When I was married I wore either pajamas or a nightgown to bed every night. Now I sleep in panties, and sometimes nothing at all. I walk around my room in nothing but panties. I would walk around the house that way if I lived alone. I enjoy sex and the connection; it's not just something to do because everybody's doing it. I want my man to lead, then other times I want to lead. I put hella effort into anything I pursue, whether business or relationship. I am the prize, and I won't say that sex, love, and a relationship has to solely be on my terms but I will be heard and I will get what I want and desire. There is a man who is capable of giving me those things. I want a freak like me, and I want to walk around in his t-shirt and my panties.

Black Love 101: What a Woman Needs Pt.2

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Akoma week officially begins February 14th and lasts until February 20th. Akoma week is the international alternative to Valentine's Day. Akoma celebrates 7 virtues and 7 principles for Black Love. The Akoma is an ancient African symbol of divine love and unity, and it's used to represent the sacred science of soulmating. The theme for this year's Akoma celebration is, "Black Love Is Winning". That should be every black couple's mantra for everyday.

Black women are looking for men who will see them as their equal while still understanding and recognizing their weakness. A King wants a Queen, someone who can run the kingdom in his absence. Black women need a man with whom they can be vulnerable, and be themselves with. Black love has endured many trials, many that were forced upon us but it's up to us to RECOGNIZE and RECTIFY. WE have to fix whatever problems we have as a black family. In the near future I will host another Sunday Purple Poet Live Black Love edition. I'm looking to have my brother and host of The Great Liberators Talk Show, Amiri Browner; and my friend and Best Selling Author Quinton Morgan. Quinton is known as "The Relationship Advocate", and he's the author of: "Male Baggage", "Female Baggage", and "Church HURT". These brothers will give us some insight on what men want and need in a woman. Amiri is happily married and Quinton is divorced after 25 years of marriage. Together these brothers bring a wealth of knowledge.

What I want and what I need from a man are basically one and the same. I need a man who listens, and not just talks. Many people don't realize it, but hearing and listening are two totally different things. We as strong black women want and need security and stability from a man. No woman past 25 years of age wants a man who is unstable. Later, sometimes earlier in life you begin to overstand what is important. You don't want to live for 50 years and all you've accomplished is having kids(that you don't take care of), or living with your mama and riding public transportation. We need to know we're safe with you in every aspect of the word. We want to share our deepest secrets without fear of shaming. We want to open up to you and share our lives. We need men who will physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially take care of us. We want a provider and protector. Just as men have expectations of us to cook, clean, wash his clothes, nurse and nurture you, be your sounding board, and be your sex slave. Women also have expectations. I was beginning to think that maybe my expectations were too high, but I'm a queen and my expectations are those of a queen. Expecting a grown man to have a job(business), car, his own place of residence, retirement fund, and goals is basic. These are things that I require of myself, so requiring them of a man should not be a problem.

Black women just want and need from their black man the same things they require of themselves. Bring at least as much as I do to the table... Match My Effort! If you want to be upheld as a king or god, then BE a king or god. No longer will we put you up on a pedestal if you're not living up to your obligations. No woman wants to do all of the work in a relationship. We don't want to be the man and the woman, then what's the use of having a man? Yes we need you for sex, and we want great sex but that's not all there is to a relationship. Some men think sex alone will keep a woman or equates to a relationship. We WANT and NEED Men, not little boys. We want a mate, not a child to raise. Black love is not as hard or complicated as people have made it to be. We both have a role to play; sometimes the roles are very distinct then other times they overlap. The ultimate goal should be for us to WIN!

Black Love 101: What a Woman Needs

www.tauheedahmichelle.michelebarard.com

I follow The Pro Husband on Instagram, and these are 5 questions he says every woman should have the answers to. When I'm discussing relationships I love to get the men's perspective. These questions that were posed to women really caught my eye. Vulnerabilities...can I be vulnerable with you? Can I let go of my fears and let my guard down with you? Can I share my life and secrets with you without fear of ridicule? As black women we're already on guard with our feelings because we've been used and hurt. We want to know that it's ok to take down the wall and let you in. Secondly, is who I am ok with you? Can you be with me without trying to change me? We can change, evolve, and grow together but you must be ok with who I am initially...baggage, flaws, scars and all. We have to know we're enough just the way we are. We may want to improve on some things, but ultimately we want to be appreciated for who we are and what we bring to the table. Thirdly, are you a suitable spiritual leader? If we get married or we're in a serious relationship can I depend on you to lead us spiritually? Are you strong or weak in your convictions? Women want a leader, not just in the bedroom but in every aspect of the relationship. Are you willing to meditate with me? Do you understand the power of us meditating together and combining our powers? Fourth, am I safe with you? Will you stand up and defend my honor as your black woman, or will you coward down and have me fend for myself? Naturally black men have been warriors and great protectors. In this politically correct society  black men haven't been doing such a good job at protecting the women(woman/wife, daughters, mother, sister) in their lives. In a lot of relationships women need protection from the man they're with. Women want to know that they are safe with you...physically and emotionally. Last but definitely not least, is our money safe in your hands? Do you have a business mindset or an employee mindset? Don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with working a job. I have a job educating young minds and it pays the bills, and affords me vacations, food, clothing, and a roof over my head. The problem we women have is men who don't have a job or own a business, living with mama, no car, no home of your own, and no dreams and goals to obtain. If you can't keep a stable job or have no concrete plans for a business how can you be trusted with OUR money? A man must be able to lead his home financially as well. Women need stability and security. If a woman is paying bills on her own and keeping a roof over her own head, she wants a man that can at least do that much for her. Do you have an emergency fund? Do you have savings and retirement accounts? If I am to entrust my life into your hands, are you capable of handling all that comes with that?

These questions are valid and I agree that women need the answers to these questions before diving heart first into a relationship. Last year I did a Live video on soulmates, twin flames, and kindred spirits. I researched all 3 before doing the Live. Soulmates are soul connections...people your soul resonates with. Kindred spirits are connected by sharing the same or similar experiences. Twin flames go beyond both soulmates and kindred spirits. Your twin flame is that once in a lifetime love. It is the ultimate relationship you will ever encounter. Your twin is your mirror image.

Your twin shows you your hurts and pains, and the areas of your life that need healing. Once you're conscious and enlightened this is the relationship you are seeking. I have encountered my twin flame, but we're separated right now. One twin is the runner and the other is the chaser. A twin flame relationship can be scary if you're not used to being so in sync with another person. You sometimes share the same thoughts. You can communicate telepathically. It's like being inside of one another's head. I titled this blog post "Black Love 101" because I'm black, and I want to see relationships between black men and women thrive and win.

I have been called a black man basher by a black man. If you truly know me, you know that I am just the exact opposite. I'm all for building up your man and helping him achieve. The key word is help! The man has to already have something and is doing something in order for me to help. Otherwise, the sisters are still doing everything on their own. I love black men and wouldn't trade them for any other man. Black women want and need black men who can meet them where they are. Love is not hard, and love is not complicated. When a man is intuned to his woman he knows what she needs before she can ask. If we are to build and be a strong nation of people it's going to take us working together. Black women can't carry the load and still call our black men gods and kings. Gods bless others; gods have so that they can be a blessing to others. Kings have a kingdom that they rule over. If you live with your mama and don't have a job, where is your kingdom? You say that you are your kingdom and you rule over yourself, but if you can't provide a place for yourself it doesn't seem that you're doing such a good job at governing yourself. We can't just give a man the title of god or king just because he's black. There are credentials that come with these titles. Can you lead, protect, and provide? Can I let my guard down and be vulnerable with you? Can I trust you and depend on you to support me mentally? Are you a leader...on your job, in your home, in your community, in your relationship with me?

I want to see every straight black relationship win! I'm not an expert on everything relationship wise, but I am an expert on the relationships I've experienced. I've learned some things from marriage, carnal relationships, and my twin flame union. I share what I've experienced to help others. Some men are so egotistical that they can't hear what a woman has to say. That is the downfall of many black relationships. Black men let their egos get in the way and they start displaying narcissistic behavior. If you're a king and/or a god it seems that you would want a queen or goddess who you can learn from as well. We all come with baggage and flaws. We are blessed in this life if we find the person who accepts our flaws and helps to lighten the load of our baggage. If I'm still weighted down and I have a "man" then something is wrong somewhere. Healthy relationships consist of two people working together to reach common goals. You both want the same outcome, so you both put forth effort. Black love has endured so much pain and trauma over the years. If it's worth it, we will continue to fight and endure whatever comes together. Black people have experienced loss, death of loved ones, molestation, rape, incurable disease, divorce, slavery, white supremacy, and each other. If we're meant to be we can weather any storm.