Sunday, July 14, 2019

Journey Within


http://www.amazon.com/author/tauheedahmichelle

When I started on the journey to find myself about 4 years ago; I was looking for me. I was on a journey to find out what makes Michelle who she is and what she's becoming. As I have grown on this journey I have learned about my lineage and why I might have gone through some of the things that I experienced.

I learned that on my father's side of the family we share a bloodline to people who are indigenous to this land. A friend of mine has always said that he is indigenous to this country, and his family didn't derive from Africa. My dad has great grandparents who were Cherokee Indians. I agree with my friend that maybe we're not all descendents of Africans or slaves. Some of us are direct descendents of American Indians.

I created a personal alter to manifest the peace and other things I need in my home. I use crystal for healing and different manifestations. There are candles(Chakra), Native Soul Sage and Lavender incense, and a sage bundle. The thing that really topped it off was the photo of my dad's great grandparents that I was able to print from our family page on Facebook. This way I am able to honor my ancestors and their legacy.

I most definitely do not deny my African heritage. I'm sure on either side that somewhere down the line I have ancestors who came from Africa. I proudly wear the titles: queen, goddess, empress. I have learned to channel my inner Egyptian Empress. Khamit (modern day Kemet) is the way of Egypt that means, "Land of black people". I wear the label, "black"; because I am black, I come from the land of black, and black is the beautifulist thing I have ever seen! It's an honor to be black. It's an honor to be indigenous to this land as a black native.

When I began the journey within I was on a spiritual journey to find self. I got a lot more than I bargained for. I learned about my ancestors and why I look the way I do. I am cognizant of the fact that some generational curses could have derived from either side of my family. I am more mindful of how these things play a part in my life and my kid's lives. I understand me better and the choices I make. I overstand that this journey isn't just about me, but being the Black Sheep means I am here to break those generational curses and help create generational wealth.

Saturday, May 4, 2019

Can You Love, or Be In Love With Two People at The Same Time?

www.tauheedahmichelle.michelebarard.com
 

The question has come across my table; "Can someone love or be in love with two people at the same time?" If you've been reading my books, following my blog and my Sunday Lives then you know I write and speak from my own personal experiences. My answer to this question is, YES. Let me be clear, this is not a ploy to condone cheating. Sometimes the right people come into your life at the wrong time, and you're meant to be together just not at that time. Sometimes there are unresolved issues in either you or the other person that need to be dealt with before you can be together.

Two and a half years ago I met a man in a business transaction. I bought a car and needed a repair to the aux cord on my radio. The owner of the dealership recommended a guy he uses for his car radios. I met the guy at his business establishment and there was an instant connection and definite chemistry between the two of us. We began talking on the phone and texting one another. We went on one date after about a month or two of talking and texting. We would meet up somewhere sometimes and just talk. We had really become good friends. He was in a relationship, and he and his girlfriend lived together. At the time my ex-boyfriend was living with me, but our relationship was over. This guy and I were friends, although we both recognized the connection and strong chemistry between us.

Later that same year I began conversing through Facebook Messenger with a Facebook and Instagram friend who was also the younger brother of one of my old friends and classmates. Before I actually encountered this man I had been reading and learning about twin flames, and the difference between twin flames and soulmates. I didn't fully understand twin flames at the time, but I was learning more and more each day. I started researching twin flames, and twin flame unions. The twin flame union is the highest and ultimate relationship that humans can experience. Just talking to this man I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he was my twin flame. When we first met in person, hugging him confirmed things for me. Hugging him gave me the sense of home, like I was where I belonged. Experiencing this type of love and relationship helped me to understand twin flame dynamics that much more. I am in love with this man!

There have been many obstacles in the way of this twin flame relationship; some caused by me and some caused by him. A relationship is controlled by both people, so we both had a hand in the demise of the relationship. At the end of 2018 my twin flame broke up with me, deleted me and blocked me on social media, and blocked my phone calls. A breakup is almost always difficult, but this breakup was puzzling to me because he broke up with me for trying to talk to him about something very important that concerned us both. My friend and I were still friends, and had remained "Just Friends" over the two year period. I messaged my twin flame on YouTube and email because I was blocked on every other platform of communication. I had surgery in February and reached out to my twin flame, and he never responded until a month later on his birthday. The conversation was quick and casual. A few weeks later there was death in my twin flame's family, and we were both close to this person so he called to let me know. I went to visit him and the family and my love for him was still very prevalent. As my twin flame I know my love for him will never end.

During my recovery from surgery my friend visited me, and we talked almost every day. We started dating and we would see one another quite often. Our feelings for one another became stronger, and we became more than just friends. We eventually became physically intimate and that strengthened our friendship/relationship. Now we're at the point where we verbally and physically express our love for each other. Even though I love this man, I am still in love with my twin flame. There is nothing in this world that compares to the touch of my twin flame. A simple casual touch from his hands sends a sensation through my body like he's making love to my body.

I am in love with my twin flame; there is no doubt about that but I also love my friend. My friend and I have been attracted to one another since the moment we met over 2 years ago, but the timing wasn't right. After my twin flame broke up with me my friend was there for me. Although I love my friend, I am in love with my twin flame and I have never experienced anything close to a relationship like ours. Sex with my twin flame is something out of this world. As I've said before, your twin is a mirror to your soul. Your twin shows you the things in you that need healing, and you heal to help them heal. Twin flames are very strong and can manifest things together when both flames are on the same page. I have seen in my own spirit the things that my twin flame and I could manifest and have, but it would take us both meditating and coming together. We will always be one. We were one soul before we ever came together physically. The physical intimacy (Into Me See) made our bond stronger. I am him, and he is me, we are one soul. We can be with other people but that won't change the fact that we are twin flames. Nothing can break the bond between us. The Universe brought us together; it is up to us to put in the work.

As for my friend, we are becoming closer. We are mentally and physically compatible. Leos and Libras are highly compatible. We both own businesses, we're both conscious, and family is important to both of us. We're both creative with our hands and we enjoy the arts. On the other hand my twin and I experience mental telepathy; and we have experienced a transference of energy. My twin and I have experienced some things that can't be explained for carnal minds to understand. Right now I'm torn between my twin flame and my friend who is fastly becoming my man. I don't agree with the, "Love Is Love" campaign that's going around because it taints love and says that adults loving and having sex with kids is okay. The campaign also promotes homosexuality and beastiality. I do however subscribe to the fact that if my twin and I hadn't broken up I never would've fully developed an intimate relationship with my friend. My friend is a soulmate and we share many of the same ideals and ideas. We're both go-getters and ambitious people. We talk to each other about any and everything. I can easily and safely express myself to him. My twin tests me every step of the way, and that is one of the key dynamics of a twin flame union. Your twin makes you better, and shows you the real you. Looking at your twin is like looking in a mirror, they are a reflection of you as they reflect back to you who you truly are and they help you to become who you will ultimately be.

It's difficult being torn between the man you're in love with and wanted to spend the rest of your life and lifetime with, and the man you love as a friend and more. I don't wish this merry-go-round on anybody. The truth is, maybe we don't choose who loves us and how people come into our lives, but we do get to choose who we love. Somewhere the ultimate choice must be made. On one hand I have a man that I love and I'm in love with; heaven and earth have been moved when we're together.On the other hand, I love a man that is my friend and I am highly compatible with. In an ideal world I would choose my twin flame, but my twin must choose me back (whether in this life or the next). Twin flame unions can be painful and there is a lot of soul work involved. Both twins must be up for the challenge for the union to be successful. The twin flame union is what each person should aspire to; in this relationship the Universe is granting you your innermost desires.

As Musiq Soulchild said in his song, "The answer is Yes". It is possible to love two people at the same time. I've heard it said before that you can't love two people at once because that means you never actually loved the first person. That statement is not true; I am madly in love with my twin flame, but twin flame relationships can be difficult and if both aren't ready to do the work or if they aren't both ready to confront themselves the union will suffer. I love this man with everything inside me, and I still love my friend too.


Sunday, March 31, 2019

Spring Cleaning


www.tauheedahmichelle.michelebarard.com

Spring is a time for new beginnings and new life. The Spring season officially begins March 20th with the first full day of Spring being March 21st. The saying, "Spring roars in like a lion and goes out like a lamb" is very true. Spring begins with cold and un-Spring like weather. When the Spring season commences it still feels like Winter. April rolls in with rain to help the earth grow and replenish. "April showers bring May flowers".

My Spring cleaning ritual includes: sage smudging to clear out any negative energy, opening windows for fresh air, cleansing my crystals, getting out in nature, and for the last couple of years attending the Naturalopathy Spring Event. The Naturalopathy Spring Event was held yesterday, and for the first time in two years I didn't attend. The Naturalopathy event encompasses all of the vendors and products to start your Spring season off right.

Spring also brings with it pollen and bees. Pollen causes allergic reactions in thousands of people each year. After an encounter with the outside we must cleanse ourselves, or we bring the pollen inside with us. Of course we have to bathe to wash the pollen away, but crystals are another way to cleanse ourselves and our auras. A close friend of mine told me he loves when he encounters me because I have a beautiful aura and I bring light whenever I'm around him. Crystals can be used to clean your aura and protect you from harm.

In the circle of life animals are born in the spring, grass grows and turns green again, flowers bloom, and everything old becomes new again. A new moon begins this Friday, and new moons are a great time to set intentions and do a new thing. So as Spring and April embark upon us we can clean our physical homes(places of residence) and clean our physical houses(our bodies). Do a detox, walk along the beach, go hiking, sage smudge your home, take a detox/spiritual bath. All of these things are excellent practices for a Spring cleaning ritual. Set your intentions for the new moon and Spring season. Happy Spring Cleaning!



Monday, March 11, 2019

Freak Like Me/T-shirt and Panties

www.tauheedahmichelle.michelebarard.com

Last night I watched the episode of "Unsung" featuring Adina Howard. I have been following Adina on Instagram well before the show. I was a fan of Adina's song, "Freak Like Me" back in the 90's. I don't think many of us were ready for such an outspoken upfront woman at the time.

I have come to admire Adina for her outspokenness. She has been saying what women have been feeling for years. She's not just outspoken or upfront, but she lives her truth. Whether you or I agree with it, she lives her truth and stands for what she wants. In my 20's I was just going through life and love blindfolded. I didn't know which direction to go, so I fumbled my way through my 20's and 30's. In my early 40's I divorced the only man I had ever been in love with. I was in love with this man for 30 years, since we were both 14 years old. After the divorce I set out on a journey to find me. I found that I was highly sexual, but I had finally gotten to a place where I really enjoyed sex, and I wanted the things that were pleasurable to me.

Last night on Unsung Adina explained how her sexuality was on her terms. Men thought because she was a freak that she would just get freaky with any and everybody. She stated that she was the prize, not the other way around. In my late 40's I met my twin flame, and with him I learned to let go of all of my insecurities and inhibitions. I felt like I could let go and be myself. That seemed to only work with sex. When I wanted to let go and be my unique goddess self, displaying all that makes me who I am; he couldn't handle that. I don't pretend to be something I'm not. I am who I am.

I love sex, especially when it's combined with sensuality. I want to enjoy the experience and the man I'm with. Like Adina, I can be outspoken and speak what's on my heart. Some males are intimidated by outspokenness and realness. I thought I had finally found the man I could open up to and be myself with. I want what I want, but I am willing to compromise. Isn't that what relationships are all about? I was tired of always being the one to compromise and sacrifice,without getting the same in return.

Adina was very candid and transparent about her life. She said that she's defiant, and she likes being defiant. She also recognized the part she played in the downfall of her singing career. She admitted her faults, and although she never compromised her integrity she knew where she was wrong. She has grown and evolved and still gets what she wants. I have learned so much about myself and what I want. I want a man who can bring out every part of the freak in me. A man who will put in as much effort as I do. I want my man to cater to my body as I cater to his. Sometimes I want to be in charge of the bedroom.

I was so impressed by Adina's growth. When she was singing, "Freak Like Me" and"T-shirt and Panties" she was younger and wilder. She has since married her best friend. They divorced but still live together. She still lives her truth. She stated that she got married for sex. She wanted to try everything sexual with her husband. That's how it should be, you marry your best friend, twin flame, soulmate all in one and you both ascend to the highest heights.

Learning, growing, evolving, ascending are all apart of maturing and transforming into the person you're meant to be. When I was married I wore either pajamas or a nightgown to bed every night. Now I sleep in panties, and sometimes nothing at all. I walk around my room in nothing but panties. I would walk around the house that way if I lived alone. I enjoy sex and the connection; it's not just something to do because everybody's doing it. I want my man to lead, then other times I want to lead. I put hella effort into anything I pursue, whether business or relationship. I am the prize, and I won't say that sex, love, and a relationship has to solely be on my terms but I will be heard and I will get what I want and desire. There is a man who is capable of giving me those things. I want a freak like me, and I want to walk around in his t-shirt and my panties.

Sunday, March 3, 2019

Love... All In The Family 💜🖤


I am a very family oriented person. A lot of my writings are about family, love, and relationships. As a parent, sometimes you reflect on your life and the life of your offspring. You reflect and evaluate the life you have lived before your children. Last night my children decided to reflect and remind me that I did a lot of things right.

I am a mother of 6, yes I said 6 beautiful children. Each one with their own distinctive gifts and talents. My youngest child/son (he has a twin brother) came home from school for the weekend. Four of my six children were home last night and we were talking and enjoying one another. My son and one of my daughters brought me to tears when they talked about how strong I am. They really poured their hearts out to me. They schooled me on the type of man I deserve and the type of man who deserves me.

My son told me he was tired of seeing me with men who had nothing and added nothing to my life. He said he looked at me and how I catered to my man; cooking, washing his clothes, fixing his plate, picking him up and dropping him off, and allowing him to use my car. My son flat out told me that a man should appreciate a woman like me, "You're ambitious and driven. You have business about yourself, you worked hard to take care of us, and run your businesses". My daughter talked about how she learned work ethic from me because I worked and paid my bills. My children never knew about being put out, not having electricity or running water. My daughter said, "You always had your own then these nothing ass niggas(her words, but I have used them before), come into your life without anything to add. They're just leeching off of you."

My kids remembered the family things we did, like taking family vacations, family night on Fridays, and me working to take care of them and provide for them. My heart was so full of joy and love. My children boasted of how they want what's best for me, like I want the best for them. I cried, we hugged. Last night I saw myself in my children. They learned work ethic from me, and hustling to make your dreams come true. They learned the importance of family because family is important to me.

On January 1st of this year I posted a statement on Facebook about my family. My happiness comes from seeing them happy and pursuing their dreams. My children, grandchildren, parents, and siblings are what matters most to me. My man was also a part of that squad. I felt like all I needed was my family and my man (I use the term loosely) and I could accomplish anything. When you're a family person, a business minded person, and you're driven and ambitious you need a mate who is equally family oriented, business minded, and driven. My children told me they want the best for me because I give my best.

My son said, "I want you to have a man who adds to your life, a man who can help you, not a man who benefits more from you than you do from him." My children have always supported me and I support them. My oldest daughter graduated from cosmetology school (like I did). She's a mother, makeup artist, business owner, and author (like her mother). My oldest twin daughter is a mother of 6 (like her mother), she has her own place and car, and works to provide for her household. My other twin daughter is a manager on her job, has her own place, and handles her business. The baby girl is a CNA, has a couple of cars, and has great work ethic (like her mother). My oldest twin son(they're only 19) works at a fast food joint, has a side gig working on houses, and he has recorded rap songs in the studio. My baby has moved to another state, he's in school, has a job, and is about to buy a car and get his own place (he suggested I move to Kentucky). I am so proud of my children and family is everything to me.

I have made some bad decisions when it comes to my children, but they have proven to me that I've made a lot of good decisions. They showed me that I'm a good mother/grandmother, and a great woman. I choose #FamilyOverEverything.



Sunday, February 24, 2019

Fibroids in Black Women and Book Update

Peace and Blessings fam, I'm back! I was in the hospital earlier this week having surgery to rid my body of fibroids. I'm not at 100 percent yet, but I'm getting there. I found out I had fibroids in 2009, and it took 10 years to do something about them. The symptoms got progressively worse, so that prompted me to take action. In 2009 I only had 2 fibroids, by the time I had them removed I had 4 large fibroids and several smaller ones. A few years ago I started researching fibroids and their causes. I found that black women and some native women are more likely to suffer with fibroids than whites and other groups. I set out to find out why. I read studies on WebMD, blackdoctor.org, in doctor's offices and anywhere I could find information. I read that fibroids in black women could be attributed to hair relaxers and unhealthy eating habits among other things. Three years ago I did the Big Chop and stopped using relaxers on my hair. Two years ago I set out on a journey to eat healthier. This year I began my journey as a vegan; cutting out all animal products.

Lack of exercise(yoga)  and obesity can also attribute to growing fibroids. Over the years we were fed so much misinformation. We were told that diabetes, high blood pressure, and fibroids were hereditary. That is not entirely true. We were taught how to eat by the family we were raised in. Eating pork, beef, chicken with hormones, and anything that comes from animals contributed to us having diabetes, high blood pressure, and fibroids. Had I been raised as a vegan my body would naturally fight off foreign substances like fibroids. As black women we must take our power back when it comes to our bodies and health. We must inform and educate ourselves. As a people we must take control of our bodies and health. Fibroids are non-cancerous tumors that grow inside and outside of a woman's uterus. They can cause painful urination, pain during sex, heavy menstrual bleeding, and excessive periods. A plant based diet, exercise, and yoga can help eradicate fibroids. Essential oils and healing crystals can also help to keep your body and hormones in balance. I will be doing a Purple Poet Sunday Live next Sunday with a little more in-depth information on fibroids in black women. Make sure you're tuned in at 12:30 on Facebook and Instagram.

I just want to throw in a plug about my latest book, "Black Poetry and Soul Consciousness". The cover is done, and it is gorgeous! The cover designer did and awesome job designing the cover. The book will be done by the end of the month. Keep your eyes and ears open for book signings and the Atlanta Summer Bookstore Tour. Peace & Blessings Kings and Queens

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Year Of The Black Author

www.tauheedahmichelle.michelebarard.com
At the end of last year, and during the full moon/lunar eclipse I wrote down and verbally expressed my intentions for my publishing business. Back in November I began compiling a list of Metro Atlanta bookstores for an All Atlanta Bookstore Tour for this year. I am happy to announce the Great things that are happening for Purple Poet Publishing LLC.

At the end of this month I will be debuting another poetry book. The book is a collection of soul moving, spirit inspired poems, and conscious and enlightened experiences. Some members of my Facebook group, "Black Poetry and Soul Consciousness" have contributed to this project. The cover designer emailed me a copy of the proof for the cover, and I am just in awe of his work. The cover is so beautiful, I wish I could share it with you all but not until the Big Reveal. There will be book signings for this book, and it will be included in the summer bookstore tour.

Purple Poet Publishing LLC's books are now available at Black Dot Bookstore and Cultural Center in Lithonia, GA and Book Boutique in The Mall at Stonecrest, also in Lithonia, GA. Books are still available at Nubian Bookstore in Morrow, GA. "Poetry For Yo Soul" will soon be sold at Medu Bookstore at Greenbriar Mall in Atlanta, GA. As always, you can purchase my books or any PPP LLC's author's books on either of my websites.⏫

www.thepurplepoet1.com

In late summer 2019 Purple Poet Publishing will debut two more books, "Writing the Wrongs"©2019 and "Beautiful Me"©2019 just in time for my 50th birthday. This is our year, The Year Of The Black Author and Black Business. At PPP LLC we support black owned businesses, and we are a black owned business. We operate under akoma and Ujamaa. We believe in circulating the black dollar and starting businesses in our communities. Purple Poet Publishing LLC is here to help with all of your publishing needs: publishing, distribution, editing, proof-reading, cover design, and marketing. Support PPP LLC and let's make this a Great year for all black owned small businesses!