Midlife Crisis or True Awakening?

Last month I crossed the half a century mark. Yes, I turned 50 years old on August 5th. About 3-4 years before my 50th birthday I began to feel unfulfilled and lost. I was seeking for answers in church and the Bible but found no solution to my problem. I started to seek within myself for answers instead.

During this 3-4 year time period I learned a lot about myself. I learned who I am, and who I was born to be. I am now at a point in my life where my focus is to make me happy. Others can be happy in the process, but my focus is now on me. My children are grown, I'm divorced and don't have a husband to cater to. I live life on my terms and do what pleases my soul. I think I look pretty good for my age. I wear what accentuates my body. Some people may feel that some of the things I wear are not appropriate for someone my age but I give no fu@ks.

I recently made the decision to finally live alone, without my children. At the end of this month I will be moving out of the apartment with the now 5 of my 6 children and moving to a 2 bedroom house. I have been looking forward to this for quite some time. It's not so much about getting away from my children as it is about getting away to me. Since I began evolving I don't wear clothes when I'm home, and I don't wear pajamas or a nightgown when I go to bed. I walk around my bedroom in just my panties. I want to walk around my house the same way. I have a vision for this new place of residence. It will be a home of serenity. I'm putting a plant in each room; plants like the spider plant, snake plant, and lavender. There will also be crystals in each room, and a fountain in the living room. I'm looking forward to enjoying the place I call home and pay rent and bills for.

There is so much to live for at 50 and beyond. I'm happy with who I am and who I'm becoming. This new life is about freedom and liberation. It's about finding and being your true, authentic self. I don't care what people think about me and I don't need anyone's approval to do anything. I'm ready to take trips, start more businesses, have awesome sex, and live Unapologetically Ever After. Fifty is the new thirty!

An Author's Life

www.tauheedahmichelle.michelebarard.com
On Facebook I manage a poetry group called "Black Poetry And Soul Consciousness". At the end of last year I announced to the group that I was preparing to publish another poetry book, but for this one I enlisted the group's assistance. I broadcast to the group that I was writing a book around the group and would like for them to submit poetry and short stories for the project. My initial purpose for creating the group was to highlight my latest book, "Poetry For Yo Soul" and my life of consciousness. The group has grown to almost 400 members in a year. There are many great poets, authors, and spiritually conscious people in the group. I am very excited about our latest project. Poets who have never been published will have a chance to be published under Purple Poet Publishing LLC. Look for the book to hit the scene in February of this year.

I am also planning the release of two more books just in time for my 50th birthday and Back To School. I'm organizing a big release/birthday party for the books. One book is a self-esteem building book for young black girls with my granddaughter as the main character. In my eyes black is beautiful, and I want to make sure the black girls in my family and my kindergarten class know that! The second book is a self-help book for men and women who have experienced trauma or distressing events. The book teaches people how to therapeutically write and journal to create healing. If you've been following me for any amount of time you know that I use writing and poetry as therapy for my life. Writing is very therapeutic and is great for healing. I am extremely ecstatic about all three books and their launching. I'm expecting these books to catapult my author career to the next level.

Peace and Blessings Kings and Queens, and Happy New Year.... Happy Reading!